Gf: babe come over
Me: I'm eating garlic bread
Gf: I'm horny and my parents aren't home
Me: it's the kind that's covered in cheese

mirror:

Women belong in the kitchen

Men belong in the kitchen. Everyone belongs in the kitchen. The food is in the kitchen

(via asian)

lion:

sidechick: did u see the pic?

me: what pic?

sidechick: the one of us I put on insta

me: image

(via iusedtobeorgasm)